Love and Friendship (film) / Lady Susan (novella)

Why is it relevant?

Adultry / Other woman / Narcissism / Comedy / Historical Exploration of Adultry and Divorce

 ***

There are few who have been able to capture the awkward tension between the sexes better than Jane Austen.  With astute observation and sharp wit, Ms Austin documented the social mores of her time, with humour and an undercurrent of frustration over the standing of women in society.  And yet, despite the Regency/Victorian emphasis on social manners and propriety, despite all that has changed with the rules of courtship and sexuality and a woman's right to earn her own income, so much in regards to how men and women behave with each other continues to be much the same in our time as it was in her time.

***

Love and Friendship

This movie loosely based upon a novella by Jane Austin called "Lady Susan".  However loose it may be, it still manages to capture the spirit and wit of Austin, even if the treatment is a tad more risqué than one might expect from her.  It deals with a subject that would have been very shocking for its time and in Love and Friendship we have the opportunity to freely explore her world with a little more depth than Ms. Austen, a proper lady in Regency England, would have been able to do.  Unlike the novella, the film is told mostly from the viewpoint of Lady Susan and as such gives her far more depth and allows her to be more compelling and even, strangely, empathetic than her novelized counterpart.

The story follows one Lady Susan Vernon, who at one time had been of good social standing but now somewhat transient due to the death of her husband, the diminishment of her wealth and the scandal that always seems to follow her.  Still fairly young and beautiful, she has suitors galore, yet none are suitable enough to secure her to her previous social standing.  The only man she truly desires, Lord Mainwaring, is unhappily married and strict social mores prevent him from terminating his marriage and abandoning his wife.  Lady Susan’s not-so-veiled pursuit of a relationship with him and the termination of the engagement of Mainwaring’s daughter to the man whom Lady Vernon desires to pair with her own daughter causes great scandal and finishes off what little good reputation she has left.  Her best friend, Alicia Johnson, has been forbidden by her husband to associate with Lady Susan on threat of being shipped back to America whence she came, forcing them to continually meet in secret. And, to top off her troubles, she has a daughter of marriageable age who absolutely detests the choice of suitor that her mother has laid out for her.  This sort of trouble might get the best of us down.  Not Lady Susan, who uses her beauty to seduce and beguile, her sharp tongue to slice those that dare cross her, her passive aggressive sugar to politely compel others to her will.  She has the command to persuade and manipulate at a master level and not one person within her sphere is capable of withstanding the force of nature that is her.

“Facts are such horrid things!” – Alicia Johnson, Lady Susan, Jane Austen.

There is so much to make Lady Susan unlikeable.  She is the textbook toxic mother, lover, friend. Yet, she still manages to be utterly charming.  Kate Beckinsale, in a role of a lifetime, manages to seduce not only her friends and suitors, but also the viewer.  Everyone has a Lady Susan in their lives, the one person who truly is horrible to and for us and yet we just can't resist the polish of charm and dazzle that masochistically keeps us coming back for more.

“My dear Alicia, of what a mistake were you guilty in marrying a man of his age!  Just old enough to be formal, ungovernable, and to have the gout; to old to be agreeable, too young to die.” – Lady Susan Vernon, Lady Susan, Jane Austen

Everyone struggles against the machinations of Lady Susan, yet each scheme they attempt to weave ends in failure as the socially skillful Lady Susan thwarts their efforts with the ease of brushing away an annoying fly.  Wild accusations, schemes, engagements undertaken and then broken, passive aggressive conversation over dinners and teas, divorce and unexpected parenthood plague Lady Susan and most especially, all those within her influence.  Even when it seems as if her webs of plans are about to irrecoverably fall apart, she wildly recovers.  She is highly adaptable and weathers changes to her life with great success. Her society is as complex a dance as the reels and cotillion’s so loved in her time and she is the master of it all. 

“There is something agreeable in feelings so easily worked on; not that I envy him their possession, nor would, for the world, have such myself; but they are very convenient when one wishes to influence the passions of another.” – Lady Susan Vernon, Lady Susan, Jane Austen

***

The notion of the schemer or homewrecker is a common complaint amongst those who divorce and it certainly is covered enough in movies, music and literature.  Love and Friendship, steps away from the estranged spouse point of view however, and provides a little insight to a less reflected side of the story.  Beyond the typical “other woman”, Lady Susan is the classic narcissist.  She is always the victim, despite all the havoc she wreaks. We are provided with some insight into the internal workings that are taking place in her head.  Much of her motivations on the surface boil down to her position in the world, a landless, incomeless women who’s only hope is to marry either herself or her daughter off.  It certainly in no way excuses her behaviour and seems she enjoys the sport enough for it to be the only reason for the games she plays, but it does provide some layer of sympathy to a character that would otherwise be very shallow. 

Perhaps the biggest takeaway from her story is that she is a force of nature onto herself.  There is no stopping her, and while that is not a sign to just give up and walk away from a long-term marriage, there is no point in wasting years in resentment or hate towards a person who just does what they do.  Each of the characters spends so much time in discussion, shocked indignation, horror and gossip and attempted avoidance yet nothing prevents her in the end of accomplishing everything that she sets out to achieve.  If you have experienced a separation due to the likes of a Lady Susan whether it be a outside person or even your spouse, you can soak in a sea of hate and resentment, but in the end, it will change nothing that happened, nor will it change the person who so damaged your life.  They themselves will see nothing wrong with who they are, what they have done, and will never be persuaded that they have hurt you.  Quite likely, they will find ways to demonstrate to you that you brought their actions upon yourself or that in fact, you have been the one to damage them or their happiness.  It is better and far healthier to move forward with your life and seek new happiness than it is to continue to rage against a lost cause. 

“To be sure, when we consider that I did take some pains to prevent my brother-in-laws marrying her, this want of cordiality is not very surprising, and yet it shows an illiberal and vindictive spirit to resent a project which influenced me six years ago, and which never succeeded at last.”, Lady Susan Vernon,

Lady Susan, Jane Austen.

The movie is adapted by Walt Stillman, and brings him back together with Kate Beckinsale and Chloe Sevigny, with whom he last teamed up, brilliantly, in The Last Days of Disco.  Next to Beckinsale, another commendable performance in this movie is that of Tom Bennett as Sir James Martin, who pretty much runs away with this movie at points.  He plays the sweet, naïve, yet utterly doltish character with abandon, and frankly caused some of the biggest laughs in the theatre when I attended.  This movie captures much of the biting social wit and observation that Jane Austen is renowned for, and is successfully played for laughs. 

***

Lady Susan

The novella, is far different from the other books written by Jane Austin.  An epistolary work, the sequential letters between the all the parties affected and by Lady Susan herself, lay out the story in a more piecework manner than the movie. The book does not flesh out the characters as deeply as the film and he story itself is a mere scaffolding of what you see in the movie.  This is a fairly dry book, compared to other Austin novels, and I am relived that the movie was able to draw out far more humor and emotion.  It is a quick read, and, while not of usual Austin caliber, there are still magic moments from time to time and it is worth a glance through, especially if you miss the old days of handwritten letters.

This book is old enough that it is easily available for free as an ebook through Project Gutenberg or through your ereading provider of your choice.  And if you haven’t read anything by Jane Austen before I would highly recommend trying out Pride & Prejudice, Sense & Sensibility or even Emma. 

Who Would Enjoy This Movie/Book?

Austen Fans.  Historical fiction and film fans. Anyone in need of a smart laugh.  An excellent date film if you want to impress.  This is bit on the high end vocabulary-wise and even the subject matter can be a bit difficult to make out, so it may be not be interesting for young children.  Both book and film are perfect for lazy weekend afternoons spent with a cup of tea. 

Healing Factor:

Five out of Five Tiny Green Balls.

https://youtu.be/KhvyupqNhL8

Love and Friendship, 2016.  Directed by Walt Stillman. Kate Beckinsale, Chloe Sevigny, Xavier Samuel

For more info on the movie: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3068194/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Best of the Breakup Songs: Promises, Promises, Naked Eyes

💔  Best of the Breakup Songs:  Don't hide the cynicism and disbelief from your Naked Eyes as you call your ex on their "Promises, Promises".  You've heard it all before and you best be getting out while the going is good. 💔

Best of the Breakup Songs: You Don't Own Me - Lesley Gore

💔 Best of the Breakup Songs: If you have emerged from an abusive relationship or if you are harassed or bullied by your ex spouse in any way, but in particular when it comes to dating again, take a stand of defiance with Lesley Gore and remind your ex that "You Don't Own Me".  Play it before and after every encounter.  There is only one boss of you and it ain't your ex. 💔

You Don't Own Me

Best of the Breakup Songs: Smile, Janelle Monae

"Smile", Janelle Monáe soulfully croons to us, reminding us that although our hearts break today, good times are to come.  Persevering with a "carry on" resolve and cheerful demeanour will make our troubles seem more trivial and help to shine a light on what is good in the world. 💔

Bonus Trivia:  Funny man Charlie Chaplin composed the music for this song.  (Lyrics were written by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons).

Smile - Janelle Monae

Bad Moms

[With apologies, this review is just for all the moms out there.]

***

Why is it relevant?

Themes of separation and divorce / adultery / empowerment / life journey / “midlife” crisis / self realization / finding oneself / feel good comedy

***

You’re Amy Mitchell.  I’m Amy Mitchell.  We are all living Amy Mitchell lives.  We work hard everyday and are underappreciated and underpaid at our jobs.  We are struggling with our children, spending all our free time ferrying them between school and sports and enriching activities.  We prepare balanced, nutritious meals.  We keep meticulous houses.  We often deal with zoned out spouses who don’t carry a fair load of the responsibilities at home.  We don’t spend enough time taking care of ourselves.  And worst of all, we endure all this under intense judgement from our peers, other moms. 

Amy Mitchell takes a stand and says “Enough”.  And its time that you do too. 

***

Can You Really Have It All?

We meet Amy just when her life begins to fall apart.  She is treading water with her busy schedule.  She is working far more hours than she is supposed to, pulling a full time job on a part-time wage. She does her kids homework and is frustrated with juggling to meet the parenting needs of one child who is a Type A achiever and another who is a slacker.  She cooks perfect meals that no one seems to notice.  She fits in one exercise class a week as her “me time” and gets no real joy or benefit from it.  She married when she was twenty and has a spouse who has not really grown up alongside her. 

She feels growing resentment in particular to Gwendolyn, the Head of the schools PTA.  An affluent, overbearing, judgmental perfectionist, who has mastered the art of passive aggressively bullying the other moms and even the staff of the school to her bidding.

Amy catches her husband participating in an “online activity” with another woman and he admits that it has been going on for 10 months.  Hurt, she kicks him out.

The next day is her breaking point.  Everything that could go wrong goes wrong.  Mishap and disaster pile up upon each other.  Finally, after arriving late for a PTA meeting, Gwendolyn attempts to recruit Amy to help police and enforce the overly strict rules of the upcoming bake sale, Amy does the one thing that not one other person has dared to do before.  She says “no”.  

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

This sets off a rash of sensibly standing up herself.  She insists her kids make their own breakfasts and do their own homework.  She starts pulling in just the hours she has to at work.  She shows up at the bakesale with store-bought donut holes.  She befriends two other misfit mothers, Kiki, a frazzled, sweater set wearing mom with four young children and a domineering husband, and Carla a wild, oversharing, libidinous single mom.  Most importantly, Amy begins to loose up and live a bit of the life she missed out on because she married and had children so young. 

Her clashes with Gwendolyn and her ex lead her to attempt to run for the PTA and into the arms of someone new.  The road to her new self is rocky and difficult, not just for herself but for everyone around her.  But it is a journey that she must take and in the end a correct one for her.  She emerges empowered enough to express herself and her needs and to earn the respect of those around her to live her life on her own terms. 

***

The takeaway from this movie is not just that mothers feel enormous pressure from those around them to do everything and be everything – the worst pressure actually comes from within.  We need to give ourselves a break and once we do that, it becomes easier to demand that others give us a break as well.  Not only can we be overly critical of ourselves, but we often project that criticism onto other Mom’s and perpetuate a cycle of stress and dissatisfaction.  We need to stop and recognized that everyone is experiencing their own difficult journeys, sometimes alone, frequently in silence. 

So please DO:

• Make a friend like Carla
• Give yourself a break
• Stop trying to do everything
• Give another mom who may seem lonely a hug or a positive statement
• Buy yourself a pretty bra
• Get out there and find someone nice to show that bra to
• Drink some cheap wine with a friend
• Bring store bought goods to the bake sale
• HAVE FUN

Please STOP:

• Doing your kid’s homework (Seriously, you did your time, why are you repeating it?)
• Being critical to yourself – it is true when they say you are your own worst enemy
• Being critical to others – no one is the perfect mother, we’re all trying our best to get through this the best way we can
• Crying alone in your car.  I did it, a sacred haven where the kids couldn’t see.  I bet you have too.  Find someone to talk to
• Allowing yourself to be bullied, or worse, controlled – life is short, no one has to put up with another’s inability to sort their own issues
• Wasting your time on what you should do if it doesn’t bring you joy.  I’m not talking chores here, we still gotta do those.  But an exercise class, language class or other activity that is making you miserable can easily be replaced with something you like better
• Being the work martyr.  If you are pulling in hours that no one else is doing, step away from the desk and run.  Your kids and your life need you more.

Mila Kunis is highly empathetic as an overworked, frazzled mom.  Kathryn Hahn is a barrel of outrageous laughs.  Kristen Bell plays the huggable Kiki, who starts out so meek and quiet and awesomely finds her voice in the end and pulls it together.  The two moms I related to the most were Amy and Kiki; they both reflected much of my own personal experiences.  You’ll need Kleenex for the interviews with the actresses and their real life mothers during the final credits. 

Surprisingly, this movie was written by men. 

Who would enjoy this movie?

Let’s face It – this movie is for moms.  Of course if you’re wondering what you're missing if you’re not a mother, you may enjoy it. There is considerable swearing and references to drugs and alcohol and sex, so not the best kiddie movie.  This is one for you and your mom friends and a big pitcher of sangria.

Healing Factor:

Five out of Five Donut Holes.

Bad Moms

Bad Moms, 2016. Directed by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore.  Mila Kunis, Kathryn Hahn, Kristen Bell, Christina Applegate

For more info on the movie: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4651520/

Maggie's Plan

Why is it relevant?

Break up of a marriage through adultery / story told from "other woman" perspective / themes of reconciliation

Maggie has a plan.  So many plans. 

Maggie, a child of flaky academics, she learned from an early age to be the responsible one.  She has come to manage her life by carefully laid out plans.  However, there are sayings about best laid plans and, when it comes to the most important one that she will ever make, she will learn her lessons the hard way.

Now well into her thirties, Maggie has come to the realization that she has never managed to have a relationship for longer than six months and wanting a child, she’s just going to have to take a deep breath and take the plunge on her own. 

Months in advance, she makes a deal with an old school acquaintance, an friend who on the surface seems like perfect genetic father material.  He’s an intelligent math major who followed his heart to be an artisanal pickle maker.  As a bonus, he is quite happy to walk away after the “donation” is made; no messy ends and complicated relationships to cloud her happy dreams.  They set a date a few months down the road to give her a little more time to prepare.  All seems ready to go but into her life walks John. 

John is an intellectual free spirit.  He’s trapped in a marriage with a more successful, icy wife and two apathetic preteens.  His wife is Type A, he’s a flaky aspiring novelist.  In the same field, they frequently engage in public debates where they have more saucy interaction than at home where he is largely ignored. 

John and Maggie are accidently thrown together due to an accounting error at the small college where they both work.  He begins to approach her for her opinions on his writing.  He sees in her the emotional support and warmth that he is lacking in his home life.  These growing emotions culminate in his showing up at her door on the very night of her planned baby’s conception to declare his love for her and his desire to be the father of her child.

When the "Other Woman" wants to give him back.

The movie skips ahead three years later.  Maggie had her child, the daughter that she always dreamed of.  But she also has taken on the task of co-parenting John’s other children, a heavy burden given how busy John and his ex-wife are.  And then there’s John himself. Always focussed on his book or his ex-wife’s career dramas, he is yet another “child” in her life to manage.  There is little space and time for Maggie to devote to herself and her own career and her life is spinning out of control.  The more that she spends time with John, the more that she realizes that she doesn’t really love him. She’s fond of him, yes, but he really hadn’t been part of the original intended story that she had scripted for herself and resents being so fully drowned in the tides of his own oblivious sea. 

Maggie notices that he and his ex-wife are on the phone with each other all day long.  The old co-dependency that they had evolved to cope with the difficulties surrounding their respective careers and children never went away and Maggie recognizes that underlying all of this is a deep-seeded love and reliance that remains unspoken between them.  And so Maggie concocts her most daring plan yet.  She will get her husband and his ex-wife back together. 

At first, Maggie sees her most obvious ally as John’s ex-wife.  Georgette has furthered her already hot career on Maggie’s back, making coin off her new-found tragic, bitter, scorned first wife role.  A little trepidatious about her initial face to face contact, Maggie actually finds Georgette surprisingly more approachable than anticipated and manages to make an opportunity to sit down and discuss her plan with her. At first Georgette is understandably insulted and enraged.  Even though Maggie did not actively seek out John’s affections, Georgette sees her as the primary cause of the destruction of her marriage and family unit.  She accuses Maggie of using John for her fun and then casting him away when she was done.  A few days later though, still in love with John, Georgette calls up Maggie and admits to being “in”.

With the help of Georgette and Maggie’s closest friends, the plan is set in place.  Scenarios are set up to get him together with his former wife in very wild “coincidences”.  Even nature plays a helping hand to make the plan a seeming success.  Everything falls apart, however, when John realizes that he is being gamed. To Maggie’s surprise, he’s emotionally deeper than he seemed.  Emotional chaos abounds and everyone deals with the disaster of the fallen plan in their own way.

***

It is not common but also not unprecedented for ex-spouses to reunite.  I personally know a few people that have remarried ex-spouses.  Far easier is the trap of relying on your former spouse like an old shoe.  Habits and familiarity can be hard to break and with a former spouse, you have the comfort level of knowing what to expect and the type of support that you can rely on from that former partner.  It is certainly an interesting twist to have this reconciliation premeditated from the woman who was the cause of the split in the first place.  Maggie, however, is not a standard villain - she is the ordinary girl next door who, in the one moment of her life that she allowed herself lived with abandon, fell into a life that was not one she had hoped for herself nor for those she loved and her precarious plan is an earnest and heart-felt one to set things right. 

This movie is charming and funny with very engaging and relatable characters.  It manages to take its cake of seriousness and ice it with plenty of silly and intellectual gags.  Academics in particular may appreciate the gentle pokes at their normally serious intellectual and aesthetic world.  All the cast members dip into roles that they play best – Greta Gerwig is her usual adorkable self, Ethan Hawke is a gentle yet manic free-spirit, Maya Rudolph pretty much invented acerbic no-nonsense best-friendom and Julianne Moore takes on the comfortable skin of icy anxiety and just-under-the-surface pain.  And there’s a fun little twist at the end that hints the Universe may have been playing Maggie for a planning fool for a lot longer than she suspected.  Life is messy and this movie endearingly demonstrates just how difficult it truly is to set things in stone.

This is a watchable movie with little in the way of swearing and only a brief moment of some very mild nudity.  It could be easily watched with your older child, parents or friends and should most definitely be watched on your comfiest couch, under your coziest blanket with a glass of wine.  It’s a real shame that this smart little movie had only a limited release.

I just want to add that Ethan Hawke has been hitting things out of the ballpark lately with some fantastic career choices.  Boyhood, Maggie’s Plan and, most especially, Born to be Blue have all been excellent films and whether he has been center stage or not with these movies, his performances have been solid, emotionally complex and relatable. 

Who would like this movie?

Older divorcees, single parents, working moms, co-parents, remarried divorcees, those who have dealt with adultery, professionals

Healing Factor:

Five out of Five Pickles

Maggie's Plan

Maggie's Plan,  2015. Directed by Rebecca Miller. Greta Gerwig, Ethan Hawke, Julianne Moore, Maya Rudolph.

For more info on the movie: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3471098/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Hello, My Name is Doris

Why is it relevant?

Rediscovery - reinvention - starting life over - sudden change - late in life change -

falling in love again - finding yourself

***

It can be very easy to get lost when your world revolves around another person.  Days become weeks, weeks become years, years become decades and before you know it, a lifetime has passed you by in the blink of an eye.  Whether you have spent a significant amount of time carrying for a loved one or trapped in a stagnant marriage, being set free by a sudden death or divorce can set you adrift, lost and unsure of who you are or what you are supposed to do.

Such is the case with our protagonist, Doris.  Doris abandoned a potential marriage in her youth in order to spend decades caring for an ill mother. And this caretaker role was so consuming that everything else in her life continued to be put on the backburner. She has stood still for decades while the world has passed her by.  She is one of the longest serving employees in her company, surviving an acquisition that saw others let go.  Her home becomes buried under the increased possessions of herself and her mother.  She continues to wear the same style of clothes that would have been fashionable in her youth. 

The movie opens after the death of her mother, during her funeral and wake.  Shortly after, Doris attends a self-help seminar with her friends with the usual shiny white toothed guru spewing tired, reworded mantras.  Doris is open and receptive to the charm and messages.  She begins to tentatively open her eyes to all the possibilities that life has to offer.

By all respects Doris has earned her freedom, earned her right to live her life to the fullest, but she has been stuck in a rut.  It’s the same old house, same old routines, same old friend, same old job.  There is a huge void in her life that she does not know how to fill.  Her life has been so devoted to the care of her mother that she has forgotten who she is and she’s unsure just how to make change happen for herself.

Doris’ salvation and awakening is spurred by the entrance of the much younger, ever-so-dapper, charming and confident John.  From the very moment they first meet on a crowded elevator, Doris is a giddy, clumsy, school girl. She fantasizes about their encounters, informed by the romance novels she enjoys, to imagine herself in all sorts of racy and exotic scenarios with him.  Her fantasy life gets the better of her and, with the help of her best friend’s social media savvy granddaughter, she creates a fake media account to get to know him better.  Of course this cyberstalking, while successful at first, leads her down the road of painfully awkward interactions with the man of her dreams. 

She manages to plant herself in social situations that increase her chances of running into him, opening herself up to a life and all the possibilities that she was denied over her lifetime. She attends rock concerts, considers new restaurants, gets the opportunity to model, attends parties.  She opens up more at work and gets to know her coworkers better.  Change is not slow for Doris and she experiences all of the expected growing pains, including alienating herself from lifelong friends and clashing with her remaining family.

Her consuming love and obsession with John culminates in a horribly cringe-worthy object lesson.  Maybe led on by all the romance novels that she has read over her lifetime or just her inexperience in dealing romantically with the ultimate sex causes her to misread John’s overtures of friendship as something more and her growing obsession leads to blinding jealousy that causes her to behave in an inappropriate manner.  The fantasy comes crashing down around her and it causes her to grow up. 

This newfound maturity brings change.  She finally sees the necessity to abandon the life she had been living before her mother’s death.  It had been a prison to which she continued to voluntarily commit herself.  She begins to slowly let go of the traps of her past.  She embraces her new life and re-establishes the lost connections of friends that she lost in the process of rediscovering herself.  She quits the miserable job and agrees to move to a new fresh start. 

It can be very difficult to see but this type of profound loss, whether from death or divorce, can be a gift, especially when you have been consumed and lost into that relationship.  If your life has been put on hold in caring for another or if you have lost the person you used to be while deep within the confines of a long term marriage, you have the opportunity to revisit who you were or to reinvent yourself. The freedom to spread your wings is the invitation to embrace not only the changes that have been thrust upon you but to also shake up other avenues of your life that have been long stagnant or unexplored.

I’m pretty sure that actually stalking someone is not the best approach, let’s start our new lives without criminal records.  But certainly get out there and make some new friendships, especially with people who are radically different from you.  You may be pleasantly surprised where some of those friendships take you.  Quitting your job might also not be the best solution, especially if you are close to retirement anyways; at least do not burn bridges while you do it.  If you can afford a career change or retirement, go for it, but even if you quit, keep those connections to your old career tidy and keep your pension/retirement funds secure.  Want to shake up your closet?  Go for it!  Want to try new foods?  Yum!  Want to check out a concert geared towards the younger generation?  You’ll be surprised how many other older folks may be there.  Take that trip you’ve always imagined doing?  Book your tickets! Do what intrigues you, but do it with a sensible head on your shoulders.  Please do stay away from self-help seminars though; back away from the tacky inspirational sayings and low budget DVDs.  Spend your hard earned dollars on life instead!

One issue that I found a little odd in the movie was the insistence that Doris was a “Hoarder” and that her home was “disgusting”.  Yes, Doris and her mother liked to collect things, and certainly most surfaces were covered in clutter, but I’m not sure that she really met the full definition of “hoarder”.  You could easily move about in her place, cook food, eat and relax.  She most definitely liked to give previously loved items a new home, and she did use the help of personal declutter/counsellor to help her to dispose and sort out the belongs that she had but I’m feeling that the movies definition and reality are two far removed things. 

Overall, this movie is cute and funny.  Sally Field carries the awkward and dorky Doris well, creating a relatable character that could otherwise be a little creepy or sad.  There are a lot of reasons to pity Doris, but it is a fun ride to watch her develop as a person and come into her own.  Tyne Daly shines as Doris’ curmudgeonly best friend, Roz.  There chemistry between Doris and John is very strong and believable.

Who would relate to this movie? 

Caretakers, older divorcees, divorcees after long term marriages, working women, introverts.

***

Healing Factor:

Three out of Four Hair Bows

Hello, My Name is Doris, 2015.  Directed by Michael Showalter.  Starring Sally Field, Max Greenfield, Tyne Daly, Wendy Anne McLendon.

Hello, My Name is Doris Trailer