Why is it relevant?
Post-divorce family dynamics, Parenthood, Step-parents, Remarriage, Life After Divorce
***
So, you’re going through a divorce. And it’s got you down, tense, a little
stressed out. Maybe some of the things
stressing you out is your ex’s new partner.
Or you are starting up a little “Brady Bunch” of your own and just don’t
know how to deal with the new kids in your life and the adults that accompany
them. Maybe this new adult in your life
is the complete opposite of you. Maybe
you worry about how they’ll treat your kids or that your kids will like them
more that you.
You could sit around and mope. You could stew. Get angry.
Visit your therapist.
Or you could laugh.
If you choose the laughter route (and I
highly recommend that you do), Daddy’s Home has got you covered.
This movie follows the hilarious anxiety of
Will Farrell’s Brad as he meets and gets to know the father of his
step-children for the first time.
Brad has lived and breathed all his life to
be a father. His ability and dreams to
have his own children was tragically crushed in a horrific dentistry
accident. That’s right. A dentistry accident. This movie just continues to get more and
more absurd from the get go and yet it works.
Undeterred, Brad finds fulfilment through
his new bride, Sara (Linda Cardellini), who gloriously brings him into the
parenting fold since she comes as a package deal thanks to two kids from her
previous marriage. Brad has a rocky
start with the children who were obviously very slow to accept him but, as the
movie opens, things are getting better for him as the children make tentative
steps towards forging a relationship with him.
Brad is loveable, sweet, sensitive to the point of constantly swimming
in verklempt tears. He works at a Smooth
Jazz radio station, does housework, coaches sports teams, is active with his
step-kids PTA and teaches Sunday school.
He’s as warm milk as they come; the type of stable, lovable security
Sara cherishes after her marriage with her wild-child ex-husband, Dusty (Mark
Wahlberg).
Dusty is the quintessential Bad Boy. He’s gritty, handsome, muscular, adventurous,
free-spirited and cool. He
comes off as a little bit edgy and dangerous. He was not the settling down type and
eventually disappeared out the lives of his ex-wife and children. Sara, despite having been married to Brad for
a while, has yet to tell Dusty about her new husband. When the kids spill the beans about their new
step-dad during an unexpected phone call, Dusty decides to roll into to town to
check out the new person involved in their lives and the old, clichéd male one-upmanship
comically commences.
Brad, despite having it all, feels a
tremendous amount of insecurity and intimidation around the alpha male that is Dusty. Worse, just as he was making inroads in
developing a fatherly relationship with his step-children, their cool, fun dad
has shown up to distract them and play with their loyalties. Dusty feels usurped by Brad. He is jealous of the relationship that Brad
is building with his kids, the time he spends with them, the place he has taken
in his ex-wife’s life. In Brad he sees a
weak male who, in his eyes, might not be the best parent for his children.
At the core of this movie, behind all the
laughter, is a reality that is being faced by thousands of parents and kids every
year. At some point after your
separation, your ex or you will move on.
You will involve yourselves and, if you have children, your kids with
someone new. Likely your ex’s new other
will be someone that is very different from who you are. Who has different values, skills, interests
and, very likely, a different approach to parenting than you. There can be personality conflicts. It can be intimidating. If you are an absent parent due to whatever
circumstance you find yourself in, you can worry you will be replaced in your
children’s hearts. However, a critical
message in this film is that despite our differences, despite our own feelings
towards these new people in our children’s lives, we can use and accept those
differences and approaches to enrich our children for the better. The ultimate goal is to guide a child into
happy adulthood, and whatever works to get them there is good, as long as it is
done cooperatively and not antagonistically. It’s totally cool for our kids to like their
step-parents, even if we do not. Different
world views, personalities, skillsets, hobbies and outlooks serve only to
expose our children to a broader world. We
can find ways to work together and exist together in our children’s hearts, no
matter how difficult that may feel.
There were a few things in the movie that missed
the mark. Brad’s boss, Leo (played by
Thomas Hayden Church – who is usually brilliant and should be working a hell of
a lot more), comes across more as cringy-creepy as opposed to funny. I really take issue with Brad and Dusty
encouraging their son to call his bullies “bitches”.
This movie was rated PG in Canada. I took my 11-year old and 13 year old and they
were fine. There was some mild swearing
and a little bit of innuendo about sex and fertility issues which my 11 year
old was a tad uncomfortable with. So go
with the flow when it comes to watching this with your children and know what
they can handle, although I think it’s absolutely worthwhile to watch with kids
as they’re most certainly affected by the blending of families, and my kids and
I were doubled over with laughter.
Healing Factor:
Five out of Five Motorcycles.
***
Daddy's Home, 2015, Directed by Sean Anders. Starring Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, Linda Cardellini.
For more info on the movie: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1528854/?ref_=nv_sr_1
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