It's Complicated

Why is it relevant?

Movie about long-term divorcee, journey of discovery, relationships with exes.

This is a movie I regret dismissing as just another romcom chick flick when it did its run in the theatres.  I was still married during it's release although things were beginning to get pretty rocky.  It involved divorced, 50-something characters, something completely unrelatable to my then married, late 30-something, thick-in-childrearing self.   It was promoted as a "chick flick", a genre that is amongst my least favorites, even though I'm a "chick".  And Alec Baldwin.  Sigh.  Don't get me started on Alec Baldwin.

I should have given this movie a chance and, if you haven't seen it yet, you should as well.

Everybody thinks about it

This movie follows Jane Adler (Meryl Streep), a ten year divorcee, who's all together in every aspect except her dismal love life.  She has a three grown children all about to celebrate major life milestones of their own, the type of life events that throw long distant, divorced parents together.  She has a successful elegant bakery.  Instead of typical post-emptynest downsizing, she's adding to her home, introducing her to a handsome architect (Steve Martin).  And she has a narcissistic, exuberant, impulsive ex-husband, Jake (Alec Baldwin) who married the much, much younger woman he cheated on her with.  Of course, he's charming.  They always are.  He's so charming, he manages to get the better of her and lure our poor Jane back into his arms once more.  As she wrestles with her guilt and her past hurt, he assures her that everyone thinks about it, they're doing nothing more than taking it a step further.  It becomes more and more complicated as Jake appears to see the follies of his ways, realizing that he might have been much happier staying with Jane and his family instead of leaving for his "child" bride, Agnes (Lake Bell).  Jake pursues Jane aggressively, causing much comedic turmoil for our sweet relatable Jane.  

Of course everyone thinks about it.  It doesn't matter how bitter or acrimonious your breakup may be.  There is always that faint shadow in the back of your mind that questions whether or not you did the right thing.  There was a reason you fell in love in the first place and no matter how much you changed over the course of your relationship or what happened to get you into divorce court, those little seeds sit somewhere in your gut, your heart, your soul.  Or sometimes in the dark of night, when you're alone and have been so for a long time, you may question was it really that bad.  You struggle with the temptation of picking up the phone.  Everyone thinks about it.  This movie lets you indulge in the fantasy.  And deluge you with a humorous shower of reality.

Sugary Pastry Fantasy / Hot Reality Messes

Things kind of start out nice for Jake and Jane, it's that old adage about comfortable shoes after all.  The chemistry is still there, they know each others tics and habits, know just how to connect and love each other.  But for Jane, the sting of a bitter, cliched betrayal is still there.  It had left her a emotional wreck and is something she is still grappling with all these years later.  Making things even more complicated is the sudden appearance of a possible new love interest after she had given up any hope for romance.  She revels with her girlfriends with a smug satisfaction of being the "other woman" to the woman who had broken up her marriage in the first place, but in actuality wrestles with the reality of being that kind of person.  Her children were deeply impacted by the divorce in the first place and despite the fact they are grown and starting lives of their own, are likely to still be confused and torn apart by their own conflicted feelings about their parents.  It's all so much the sunshine of the moment joy, happiness and sexual connection which just can't quite dispel the dark clouds of emotion and drama when they are not together.

***

I'd highly recommend this movie to anyone at any stage of their divorce, especially if in need of a  few good laughs because, let's face it, you probably need more than a few good laughs.  This movie caught me off guard with it's intelligence and, despite the fact that the fantasy component was high (the movie revolves around late babyboomers with high incomes, fancy houses and perfect children), the emotional component was very real and believable and touched upon with a lot of sensitivity.  You feel for the characters: our sweet, kind Jane (played a little too preciously by Meryl), her children, her emotionally damaged love interest, man-child Jake who makes regrettable mess after mess in his life but who can't seem to stop.  You are probably one of these characters, or I can guarantee you have at least half a dozen friends who are.  This maybe a good one to watch alone, as a date movie or with a group of friends.  Not a good one with kids as there is some minor drug use portrayed.  

Healing Factor:

4 out of 5 Chocolate Croissants.

It's Complicated,  2009. Directed by Nancy Meyers. Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, Steve Martin.

For more info on the movie: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1230414/?ref_=nv_sr_1